Which Emotional Wounds Do I Have?

How to Understand and Heal Your Underlying Pain

Do you wonder…
  • What happened to me in childhood that underlies my problems?
  • Which emotional wounds is it most important for me to heal?
  • What childhood pain has been most problematic for me?
Take this quiz to learn which Wounds would be most useful for you to heal.
If you can't remember: This quiz relates to memories and childhood relationships that may not be completely conscious. The questions may help to stimulate your memory. Don't worry if you don't remember all of your childhood. Just use your intuition and answer the best you can. What's important is your perception of what happened to you as a child, not what actually happened.

The options for answers to each questions are: Never, Seldom, Sometimes, Frequently, and Always. However, if something had a strong impact on you even if it didn't happen very often, answer Frequently or Always.

The questions only refer to your parents. However, wounds can come from people other than parents. So where you read "parent" or "parents," also think about step-parents, other caregivers, siblings, and other family members.

This quiz is not about judging your parents. It is only to discover what happened that wounded you emotionally.

Painful emotions can come up while taking this quiz. If you need help with this, click Self-Soothing Help

If you are having trouble staying with the quiz, click here
  • Most people take between 4 and 8 minutes to complete the quiz.
  • Answer these questions to the best of your ability, without giving them a great deal of thought.
  • Write down your first reaction.
  • You must answer all the questions.
A parent withdrew from me emotionally.

I was hit or physically abused as a child.

I believe that I am fundamentally flawed.

A parent promised me things but never delivered.

One of my parents was controlling.

A parent used me to take care of his or her needs.

I was criticized harshly as a child.

My parents made me feel guilty for being my true self.

I was neglected as a child.

My parents didn’t see or appreciate me for who I really am.

When I reached out to connect with a parent, he or she didn’t respond positively.

As a child I was ridiculed and humiliated.

The way I was treated as a child made me feel unlovable.

As a child, I had to endure sexual attention or abuse.

One of my parents abandoned me, emotionally or physically.

One of my parents flew into rages.

Things happened to me as a child that made me feel worthless.

A parent used my confidential thoughts or writings against me.

I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions, even when I was old enough to.

A parent confided in me or expected me to take care of him or her.

A parent compared me negatively to my siblings or peers.

My family made me feel bad for violating their morals.

As a child, I wasn’t given enough nurturing, touch, or feeding.

My parents focused on my externals or achievements and ignored my true self.

As a child, my peers rejected or ignored me.

As a child, I was publicly exposed in embarrassing ways.

My family acted like they didn’t particularly like me.

As a child, my body boundaries were intruded on.

A parent was absent emotionally or indifferent to me.

I witnessed violence as a child.

As a child, I was treated in a way that made me feel that I shouldn’t exist.

I trusted one of my parents and then he or she turned on me.

I was supposed to do what a parent wanted, not what I wanted.

My parents expected me to perform to make them feel good about themselves.

As a child, I was blamed for things that others did.

As a child, I wasn't forgiven when I did something wrong.

Though my physical needs were taken care of as a child, I wasn’t cared for or loved.

As a child, I was judged in ways that made me feel ashamed.

A parent made me endure physical closeness that I didn’t want.

   Click the button to see your results.