Which Emotional Wounds Do I Have?

How to Understand and Heal Your Underlying Pain

Do you wonder…

What happened to me in childhood that underlies my problems?
Which emotional wounds is it most important for me to heal?
What childhood pain has been most problematic for me?

Take this quiz to learn which Wounds would be most useful for you to heal.

If you can't remember: This quiz relates to memories and childhood relationships that may not be completely conscious. The questions may help to stimulate your memory. Don't worry if you don't remember all of your childhood. Just use your intuition and answer the best you can. What's important is your perception of what happened to you as a child, not what actually happened.

The options for answers to each questions are: Never, Seldom, Sometimes, Frequently, and Always. However, if something had a strong impact on you even if it didn't happen very often, answer Frequently or Always.

The questions only refer to your parents. However, wounds can come from people other than parents. So where you read "parent" or "parents," also think about step-parents, other caregivers, siblings, and other family members.

This quiz is not about judging your parents. It is only to discover what happened that wounded you emotionally.

Painful emotions can come up while taking this quiz. If you need help with this, click Self-Soothing Help

If you are having trouble staying with the quiz, click here

Most people take between 4 and 8 minutes to complete the quiz.
Answer these questions to the best of your ability, without giving them a great deal of thought.
Write down your first reaction.
You must answer all the questions.


A parent withdrew from me emotionally. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I was hit or physically abused as a child. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I believe that I am fundamentally flawed. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent promised me things but never delivered. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
One of my parents was controlling. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent used me to take care of his or her needs. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I was criticized harshly as a child. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
My parents made me feel guilty for being my true self. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I was neglected as a child. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
My parents didn’t see or appreciate me for who I really am. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
When I reached out to connect with a parent, he or she didn’t respond positively. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child I was ridiculed and humiliated. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
The way I was treated as a child made me feel unlovable. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I had to endure sexual attention or abuse. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
One of my parents abandoned me, emotionally or physically. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
One of my parents flew into rages. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
Things happened to me as a child that made me feel worthless. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent used my confidential thoughts or writings against me. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions, even when I was old enough to. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent confided in me or expected me to take care of him or her. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent compared me negatively to my siblings or peers. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
My family made me feel bad for violating their morals. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I wasn’t given enough nurturing, touch, or feeding. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
My parents focused on my externals or achievements and ignored my true self. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, my peers rejected or ignored me. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I was publicly exposed in embarrassing ways. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
My family acted like they didn’t particularly like me. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, my body boundaries were intruded on. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent was absent emotionally or indifferent to me. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I witnessed violence as a child. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I was treated in a way that made me feel that I shouldn’t exist. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I trusted one of my parents and then he or she turned on me. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I was supposed to do what a parent wanted, not what I wanted. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
My parents expected me to perform to make them feel good about themselves. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I was blamed for things that others did. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I wasn't forgiven when I did something wrong. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
Though my physical needs were taken care of as a child, I wasn’t cared for or loved. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
As a child, I was judged in ways that made me feel ashamed. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
A parent made me endure physical closeness that I didn’t want. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always

Click the button to see your results.