Intimacy-Avoiding Quiz

Explore How You Avoid Intimacy in Your Relationship and How to Change That
  • Has your relationship gone dead?
  • Do you long for the closeness you used to have?
  • Is the passion and sexual excitement gone?
  • Is there an atmosphere of hostility between you?
  • Do you pretend that you don’t need anything in the relationship?
  • Have you pulled away from your partner?
Take this quiz to learn about your patterns around intimacy and what to do about those that don't work for you.
Have your partner do the same.
Some of the questions refer to your "partner." If you aren't in a love relationship, answer these questions in terms of how you have been in past relationships. If you have changed since the last time you were in a love relationship, answer based on how you think you would be now. If you've never been in a love relationship, answer in terms of the person you are closest to.
 
  • Most people take between 4 and 8 minutes to complete the quiz.
  • Answer these questions to the best of your ability, without giving them a great deal of thought.
  • Write down your first reaction.
  • You must answer all the questions.
When I get hurt by my partner, I close off to him/her.




I feel angry at my partner.




It feels like we are just good roommates.




I feel indifferent toward my partner.




When my partner gets angry or judgmental, I shut down emotionally.




I believe it isn't safe to have needs in this relationship.




I spend so much time on work, sports, or other activities that I don't have the time or energy for intimacy.




I feel dead inside when it comes to a connection with my partner.




I avoid asking my partner to meet my needs.




I feel hurt by my partner and ready to battle at a moment's notice.




I spend so much time with my friends, children, or parents that I don't have the time or energy for intimacy.




When a conflict with my partner starts, I withdraw.




I spend so much time watching porn that my relationship suffers.




I am lacking passion for my partner.




There is so much conflict that I don't feel safe being open with my partner.




I just go through the motions of a relationship.




I think my needs aren't okay.




I have love affairs that take up my intimate energy.




Things are okay between us, but there is no spark.




I feel cold and resentful toward my partner.




I am afraid my needs will overwhelm my partner.




I spend so much time and energy on drinking, shopping, gambling, drugs or some other addictive activity that my relationship suffers.




I don't share what is important to me with my partner.




   ...so you can review your results or change an answer later.