Intimacy-Avoiding Quiz

Explore How You Avoid Intimacy in Your Relationship and How to Change That

Has your relationship gone dead?
Do you long for the closeness you used to have?
Is the passion and sexual excitement gone?
Is there an atmosphere of hostility between you?
Do you pretend that you don’t need anything in the relationship?
Have you pulled away from your partner?

Take this quiz to learn about your patterns around intimacy and what to do about those that don't work for you.
Have your partner do the same.

Some of the questions refer to your "partner." If you aren't in a love relationship, answer these questions in terms of how you have been in past relationships. If you have changed since the last time you were in a love relationship, answer based on how you think you would be now. If you've never been in a love relationship, answer in terms of the person you are closest to.

Most people take between 4 and 8 minutes to complete the quiz.
Answer these questions to the best of your ability, without giving them a great deal of thought.
Write down your first reaction.
You must answer all the questions.


When I get hurt by my partner, I close off to him/her. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I feel angry at my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
It feels like we are just good roommates. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I feel indifferent toward my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
When my partner gets angry or judgmental, I shut down emotionally. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I believe it isn't safe to have needs in this relationship. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I spend so much time on work, sports, or other activities that I don't have the time or energy for intimacy. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I feel dead inside when it comes to a connection with my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I avoid asking my partner to meet my needs. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I feel hurt by my partner and ready to battle at a moment's notice. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I spend so much time with my friends, children, or parents that I don't have the time or energy for intimacy. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
When a conflict with my partner starts, I withdraw. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I spend so much time watching porn that my relationship suffers. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I am lacking passion for my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
There is so much conflict that I don't feel safe being open with my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I just go through the motions of a relationship. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I think my needs aren't okay. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I have love affairs that take up my intimate energy. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
Things are okay between us, but there is no spark. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I feel cold and resentful toward my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I am afraid my needs will overwhelm my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I spend so much time and energy on drinking, shopping, gambling, drugs or some other addictive activity that my relationship suffers. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always
I don't share what is important to me with my partner. Never Seldom Sometimes Frequently Always

Click the button to see your results.