List of Patterns

Here are two lists of the patterns that you can work on changing. 
With each pattern is a typical statement made by someone with that pattern.
Click on any link for more information about that pattern and the option to work on it.

Not sure which pattern to work on? Take a Pattern Quiz to find out.

Interpersonal Patterns

Angry Pattern
I can get carried away with my anger.

Caretaking Pattern
I’m always taking care of my friends but I don’t get caring in return.

Conflict-Avoiding Pattern
I’m afraid of conflict, so I don’t bring up things that are bothering me, and they fester.

Controlling Pattern
I need to be in charge and have things done my way, and people resent me and fight with me.

Defensive Pattern
When I get criticized, I defend myself, and it often leads to a fight.

Dependent Pattern
I need my partner’s love to feel whole.

Intimacy-Avoiding Pattern
I long for love and intimacy but it doesn’t happen in my relationships.

Judgmental Pattern
People tell me that I’m too judgmental so they pull away from me.

Passive-Aggressive Pattern
I want to please people, but somehow they get frustrated and annoyed with me.

People-Pleasing Pattern
I go out of my way to please people while ignoring my own needs.

Rebel Pattern
I feel a need to fight with people in power.

Self-Effacing Pattern
I feel shy and awkward in social settings.

Personal Patterns

Depressed Pattern
I feel low energy, hopeless, and bad about myself.

Destroyer Pattern
I believe that I am fundamentally flawed and don’t deserve to exist.

Foggy Pattern
I feel spaced out, sleepy, or confused.

Food Controller Pattern
I am really hard on myself when my eating gets out of control.

Indulger Pattern
I overeat and can’t get my weight under control.

Inner Critic Pattern
I judge myself, doubt myself, and push myself to be different than I am.

Perfectionist Pattern
The things I do never seem to be good enough.

Procrastination Pattern
I avoid doing tasks that need to be done.

Taskmaster Pattern
I push myself to work all the time and judge myself as lazy or incompetent.

Underminer Pattern
I tell myself that I am inadequate and I shouldn’t bother trying to make something of myself.

Victim Pattern
I have been wronged and it has ruined my life.

Pattern Quizzes

Take a quiz to learn which patterns to focus on.