List of PatternsHere are two lists of the patterns that you can work on changing.
With each pattern is a typical statement made by someone with that pattern.
Click on any link for more information about that pattern and the option to work on it.
Not sure which pattern to work on? Take a Pattern Quiz to find out.
Interpersonal PatternsAngry Pattern
I can get carried away with my anger.
I’m always taking care of my friends but I don’t get caring in return.
I’m afraid of conflict, so I don’t bring up things that are bothering me, and they fester.
I need to be in charge and have things done my way, and people resent me and fight with me.
When I get criticized, I defend myself, and it often leads to a fight.
I need my partner’s love to feel whole.
I long for love and intimacy but it doesn’t happen in my relationships.
People tell me that I’m too judgmental so they pull away from me.
I want to please people, but somehow they get frustrated and annoyed with me.
I go out of my way to please people while ignoring my own needs.
I feel a need to fight with people in power.
I feel shy and awkward in social settings.
Personal PatternsDepressed Pattern
I feel low energy, hopeless, and bad about myself.
I believe that I am fundamentally flawed and don’t deserve to exist.
I feel spaced out, sleepy, or confused.
Food Controller Pattern
I am really hard on myself when my eating gets out of control.
I overeat and can’t get my weight under control.
Inner Critic Pattern
I judge myself, doubt myself, and push myself to be different than I am.
The things I do never seem to be good enough.
I avoid doing tasks that need to be done.
I push myself to work all the time and judge myself as lazy or incompetent.
I tell myself that I am inadequate and I shouldn’t bother trying to make something of myself.
I have been wronged and it has ruined my life.
Take a quiz to learn which patterns to focus on.