Description of the Angry Pattern

The Angry Pattern involves getting angry too much or acting out your anger in a destructive fashion. If you have the Angry Pattern, you tend to get triggered into anger easily, and you may get intensely angry too often. Anger has a certain healthy role to play in our interactions with people—it tends to come up when we need to be strong enough to protect ourselves or those we care about, to set limits on someone who is being harmful to us, or to move through blocks that someone puts in the way of something we want to accomplish.

However, if you have the Angry Pattern, you express your anger in ways that go overboard and create problems with people you are relating to. Instead of just setting clear limits, you tend to hurt others, and they often respond with anger of their own. This can quickly escalate in a fight that no one is happy with. Anger can create enemies who will make your life miserable. In its worst form, it leads to violence and destruction.


The Angry Pattern is transformed by the Centered Capacity.

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XThe Centered Capacity involves the ability to stay calm and grounded, especially in situations that might trigger parts of you. When you have this capacity developed, you are able to keep your cool and make level-headed choices about how to act, without being reactive. If someone does something that triggers you, this capacity helps you to look at things logically as well as emotionally. You're able to recognize that you may have anger, resentment, or other feelings that have arisen, but you're able to see them without acting from them. When you are centered, you maintain your ability to choose a response rather than being emotionally reactive.

For example, instead of shouting or making snide remarks, you are able to think to yourself, "I feel angry that he said that to me, so I will let him know what's going on for me." It's normal to have emotions come up when something triggers you, and being Centered will help you stay in touch with how you feel and to choose a reasonable response based on your whole experience.

Coming from a Centered place, you feel safe with yourself and others feel comfortable being in close relationships with you, knowing that when conflicts arise, you'll be able to discuss and resolve them with fairness and caring.