The Passive-Aggressive Pattern
- Do try to please people and end up frustrating them?
- Do you agree to do things and then not follow through?
- Do feel a little glee when people feel defeated by you?
- Do you feel subconscious resentment toward people who seem to control you?
This is the Passive-Aggressive Pattern. Click here for more information.XIf you have the Passive-Aggressive Pattern, you tend to act in a way that looks as though you are agreeable and pleasing on the surface while acting out your resentment or aggression in indirect ways, which either hurts people or frustrates them. You may only be aware of your surface desire to please people or your fear of not pleasing them, especially your partner. If people you are close to regularly get frustrated with you or feel hurt by you, this may indicate a Passive-Aggressive Pattern.
If you have a Passive-Aggressive Pattern, there is an unconscious part of you that is resentful and perhaps defiant. This part is irritated at how much you kowtow to what your partner wants. Or the part may be angry at her for things she said that resulted in your feeling undervalued or unappreciated. However, since you don't have permission to be angry or defiant, it all goes underground in your consciousness. You act in seemingly agreeable ways, but you add a little mean twist to your behavior that frustrates your partner.
You can transform your Passive-Aggressive Pattern
and have harmonious relationships.
Self-Therapy Journey is an interactive online tool
for resolving psychological issues such as the Passive-Aggressive Pattern. |
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With Self-Therapy Journey, you can transform your Passive-Aggressive Pattern into the Assertiveness Capacity, which means you can...
- Say No to tasks you don’t want to do.
- Say clearly what you want.
- Feel a sense of personal power.
- Cooperate with people without reservation.
- Have congenial working relationships.
Click here for more information on the Assertiveness Capacity.
You can create a personalized practice
for activating the Assertiveness Capacity in your life. |
Learn How Self-Therapy Journey Works with the Passive-Aggressive Pattern
Self-Therapy Journey is a powerful tool
for transforming your Passive-Aggressive Pattern
and cultivating your Assertiveness Capacity.
But that's not all!
It works with many other psychological issues as well. It will help you work through a wide variety of patterns and develop many different capacities.
You Can...
- Take command of your personal growth
- Work at your own pace in your own time
- Heal your emotional wounds
- Gain self-confidence and courage
- Open to intimacy and love
- Feel hope and optimism about your life
- each and every day
Discover how the powerful inner process of Self-Therapy Journey can change your life. It is an interactive web application that includes...
- Check lists for understanding behavior, feelings, and motivations
- Stories
- Guided meditations for healing emotional wounds
- Journaling
- Customized reports
- Personalized homework practices for behavior change
- An online community for support
- Systematic tracking of your progress
- And much more
You can have the life you have always dreamed of,
at a tiny fraction of the cost of therapy.
Learn How Self-Therapy Journey Works with the Passive-Aggressive Pattern
Self-Therapy Journey is brilliant. It's been an absolutely great experience to use it. Every time I had a thought like, "What about this?" there was something in the online system to handle it.
-- Athena Murphy |
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I think Self-Therapy Journey is immensely helpful. You can go as deep as you want.
-- Elizabeth Moulton,
Clinical Psychologist |
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It is impressive that this tool was so helpful to me considering that I have done ample self-work for over 25 years.
-- Faith Curtin, MA
Clinical Psychology |
Working with Self-Therapy Journey will help you:
- Dramatically increase your self-awareness
- Understand your partner's behavior (and that of other people close to you)
- Recognize when you are caught in self-defeating patterns - and change them to positive actions - right in the moment
- Significantly lower your level of stress and reactivity
- Be free of the constricting hold of old emotional wounds
- Work through your fears so you can live authentically and courageously
- Become emotionally stable and healthy, leading to peace and satisfaction
- Enhance your ability for love, creativity, personal power, and living a life of purpose
Hi,
I have been a psychotherapist for 40 years. I have helped hundreds of therapy clients to resolve troubling psychological issues and find love, success, and peace. And hundreds more people have used Self-Therapy Journey to make similar changes. My self-published book Self-Therapy has sold nearly 20,000 copies, and I constantly get emails from readers telling me how much the book has changed their lives.
I created Self-Therapy Journey as a place for you to do your own inner work. I want to make psychological healing available to a wide range of people. When you enroll, I will be personally available to support you in using it. I hold free teleseminars and webinars regularly on Self-Therapy Journey. Please join me.
Try Self-Therapy Journey so you can experience how powerful it is and how easy it is to use.
Jay Earley, PHD
Introductory Video with Jay Earley
Learn How Self-Therapy Journey Works with the Passive-Aggressive Pattern
Self-Therapy Journey is based on
two comprehensive and powerful systems!
Click here to see a larger version of this chart.
1. The Pattern System®
The Pattern System is a breakthrough in understanding personality, a Periodic Table for psychology, created by Jay Earley, PhD.
It is a systematic approach to understanding your personality oriented toward psychological healing and personal growth, Self-Therapy Journey contains about 25 patterns, which are ways of behaving and feeling that you might want to change, such as people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-criticism, or avoiding intimacy.
Self-Therapy Journey helps you transform each pattern into a healthy capacity, such as assertiveness, ease, self-esteem, or cooperation. It also allows you to heal 14 different emotional wounds from childhood, such as being deprived or judged or feeling unlovable.
Everyone is unique! And the Pattern System recognizes this. You aren't put into a box. You get to understand the details of your particular personality.
The Pattern System provides the psychological content and IFS provides the therapy process.
Click here to learn more about the Pattern System.
2. Internal Family Systems Therapy
Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) is on the cutting edge of psychotherapy. It allows you to understand your psyche in a new way and create deep, powerful healing of old emotional wounds and trauma. IFS is a recognized, proven method for individual psychotherapy with a robust training program and thousands of certified therapists.
IFS enables you to understand each of the parts of your psyche, sometimes called sub-personalities. You can think of them as little people inside you. Each has its own perspective, feelings, memories, goals, and motivations. For example, one part of you might be trying to lose weight, and another part might want to eat whatever you want.
We all have many different parts, and we each have a spiritual center, the Self, which is compassionate, understanding, and grounded. Through IFS you can learn to stay in Self, develop a relationship with each of your parts, and heal them.
The key is that the your healing comes from you! This means that you can do IFS on your own, without a therapist, which is what makes Self-Therapy Journey possible.
Click here to watch an interview of Jay Earley on IFS by Tami Simon of Sounds True.
Support and Witnessing
You can work on Self-Therapy Journey completely on your own, or you can find a buddy or mentor from our online community to witness your work and support you in making changes in your life. You can also find a therapist guide from our list of professionals who will guide you in using Self-Therapy Journey and provide additional therapy if you want it.
In our online community, you can join a group of people who are dealing with the same issue. You can share with them your progress in your Self-Therapy Journey work and get answers to questions.
Learn How Self-Therapy Journey Works with the Passive-Aggressive Pattern
| I was amazed with the ease of use of STJ and how quickly it helped to identify areas in which I was having difficulty. The guided mediations helped me understand the underlying intention behind my pattern. The homework practice turned out beautifully, allowing me to be more cooperative with others. I learned to re-state confusing feelings in an accepting and loving way. I can now let go of those parts that are no longer serving me.
-- Colleen A. |
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The greatest benefit of Self-Therapy Journey is its ability to reveal the hidden motivations behind our limiting patterns. I recommend it highly.
-- Nick Lal,
Personal Development
Practitioner |
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The problems that I worked on using Self-Therapy Journey have been resolved. The Pattern System has jump-started a lot of my clients in understanding their issues at the beginning of their work.
-- Cathy Duke
Licensed Counselor |
Have other issues you need help with?
Wondering if Self-Therapy Journey deals with them?
Click here to find out
Learn How Self-Therapy Journey Works with the Passive-Aggressive Pattern
X Assertiveness involves having a firm knowledge of what you feel, think, and desire, as opposed to being overly influenced by other people's opinions, feelings, and needs. It is part of being an autonomous adult.
Assertiveness involves exerting power to ask what you want, explain why something is important to you, and follow through even if others don’t go along right away. You can bring up difficult issues with people in order to try to improve your relationship with them. You can stand up for yourself and set limits on people when they are harming you in some way. You can say No when someone asks you for something you don’t want to give.
Assertiveness involves being able to initiate action, take risks, accomplish goals, and move forward in your life. Sometimes it involves reaching out for connection with someone. Sometimes it means saying clearly what your opinion is or what you believe is right.
Assertiveness can also involve exerting power to take care of others or to achieve what you think is right or best in a given situation. It can involve assuming a powerful or responsible role in a group or organization.
But keep in mind: Assertiveness involves doing these things without needing to be aggressive, controlling, rigid, judgmental, or otherwise extreme. Assertiveness naturally integrates with cooperation, so you are open to other people's needs and opinions without giving up your own.
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