Trouble Staying With It?

If you are getting spaced out, distracted, sleepy, or bored, or if you feel like eating, drinking or doing something other than this program, this may be due to reluctance to continue working on your psychological issues right now. You might also find yourself wanting to stop, or to come back at another time, or to more generally avoid this work.

There are a number of reasons why this may be happening:

Working Alone. If you are trying to work on your Self-Therapy Journey on your own,  you might be better off with someone to witness  your sessions or to talk with you afterwards. Click here for a detailed discussion of the value of this and how to find someone.

Not the Right Time. This may not be a good time to be attempting this work, or you have done enough for today. It could be that you need to take a break and come back later today.

Going Too Fast. You may be moving too fast or pushing yourself into painful material more quickly than your psyche is ready for, and as a result, defenses are coming up. Slow down; take your time. Give yourself more time to process the feelings that are emerging. Don't try to push past resistance. Talk to a supportive friend. Allow this work to evolve in its own time. You don't need to go through Self-Therapy Journey in a linear fashion. You may need to come back to a pattern or wound a number of times in different ways before you fully understand it. Allow it to be a longer term project if that feels right to you.

Painful Emotions. Pain may be coming up that parts of you want to avoid. Click here to get help with this.

Judging Yourself. You may be feeling bad about yourself because an Inner Critic is judging you as about what you are learning about yourself in STJ. It is common for our Inner Critics to use this information to make us feel bad about ourselves. They tell us that we are really screwed up, that we’ll never be happy. Don’t believe these self-attacks. You might want to explore the Inner Critic Pattern. 

Reluctance. There may be a subconscious part of you that is reluctant to engage in this work. This is understandable. Dealing with psychological issues can be difficult and painful, so it is natural that a part of you might want to avoid this work even though you have chosen to do it.

If this is happening, don’t judge yourself. Have compassion for the part of you that is reluctant to go on. You have shown an interest in understanding yourself by starting this program. You can do it.

Look inside to see what part of you is resisting doing this work. Very often this comes from the Foggy Pattern. It could be very helpful to do a guided meditation with the part of you that is avoiding this work. Click here to do that.

Needing More Help. If the meditation didn't work and the rest of this page wasn't successful in helping you to continue with this work, then you may need additional help. If you are in therapy or a therapist is guiding you through Self-Therapy Journey, contact them for help. Or click here to contact me, Jay Earley. I will be happy to help you. You can also get additional help through IFS Therapy. 



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