Help in Accessing a Calm, Caring Place

This is a guided meditation to help access a calm, caring place inside you, which is called Self in IFS. It takes about 7 minutes.

If you would like to do this meditation in the future, click  . This will place this meditation on the Meditations To Do list, which you can access from your Dashboard.

If you would like to just read the text of the meditation, click here.

Meditation Instructions

XFind a private, quiet place where you won't be disturbed. (Don't ever try to do a guided meditation while driving a car.) During this guided meditation, if the instructions don’t match what you need in that moment, feel free to do what is right for you. If you need to spend more time on one section and less on another, feel free to do that. If painful or overwhelming emotions come up, don't continue with the meditation. You can click Self-Soothing Help. For help with guided meditations, click here.

Once you start the recording, the play button turns into a pause button, so you can pause the meditation at any point if you need more time for a certain part of it. You can also fast-forward or rewind by dragging the light green edge within the circle forward (clockwise) or back (counter-clockwise).

If this page contains a text box below for taking notes on the meditation, do not do this while you are listening to it as this may cause the recording to start over.

When you are ready to begin the guided meditation, get into a comfortable position and click one of the versions below.

(Allow a few seconds for the audio to start).

With Music
Without Music

XThe Self is a central concept in IFS. We all have the core of us that is our true self. You might think of it as your spiritual center. This 'Self' is really who we are--when our extreme parts are not activated and obstructing us.

The Self is relaxed, open, and accepting of yourself and others. When you are in Self, you are grounded, centered, and non-reactive. You don’t get triggered by what people do.  You remain calm and unruffled, even in difficult circumstances. The Self is so much larger and more spacious than our parts and is not frightened by events that would scare them. The Self has the strength and clarity to function well in the world and connect with other people.

When you are in Self, you come from a depth of compassion, enabling you to be loving and caring toward others as well as yourself and your parts.

XIFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy) is a new cutting-edge form of individual therapy developed by pioneering psychologist Richard Schwartz, PhD, that provides a step-by-step approach to creating inner wholeness. 

IFS enables you to understand each of the parts of your psyche, sometimes called subpersonalities. You can think of them as little people inside you. Each has its own perspective, feelings, memories, goals, and motivations. For example, one part of you might be trying to lose weight, and another part might want to eat whatever you want. We all have many different parts, such as the procrastinator, the lover, the inner critic, the lonely child, the rebel, the caretaker, and so on.

IFS also recognizes that we each have a spiritual center, the Self, which is compassionate, understanding, and grounded. Through IFS you can learn to stay in Self, develop a relationship with each of your parts, and heal them. This is quite empowering because the healing comes from you.

Click here to read a one page article on IFS.

Click here to see Jay Earley's IFS website.

Click here to see Richard Schwartz's official IFS website.

To learn about the details of IFS, read Jay's book Self-Therapy.