Stage 3 Users Guide

In Stage 3, you explore the healthy capacity you need to develop in order to transform the pattern you are working on. For example, the Assertiveness Capacity transforms the People-Pleasing Pattern. You explore the ways in which you already have this capacity and choose those aspects of it that you would like to develop further.

The Description Page describes the capacity and its wisdom. Each capacity has a short wisdom statement that summarizes the healthy perspective that comes from this capacity. For example, part of the wisdom for the Assertiveness Capacity is: “In most cases, I can assert myself without putting myself in danger, and I have the right to choose to be with people who are interested in my opinions, feelings, and desires.”

The Story Page links to a continuation of the previous story about the person who had the pattern. This portion of the story describes how the person understood the origins of their pattern and transformed it into this capacity.

The Aspects Page lists the important aspects of this capacity. For example, three aspects of Assertiveness are initiating, challenging, and limit setting. You can check off those aspects that you already have (which helps you understand how much of this capacity you have now) and those that you would like to develop (which helps you understand what to work on in Stages 4 and 5).

The Name and Image Pages allow you to choose a name and image for the part of you that embodies this capacity or the part of you that you would like to develop that will embody it. The Supports Page is for exploring those circumstances and people who have already supported you in living from this capacity and those who could support you in developing it more in the future. There is also a Report Page for this capacity, which compiles everything you have entered about it.

Working with healthy capacities is often very empowering. You can move beyond just dealing with your problems and wounds to exploring the way you would like to be in life. Capacities are also featured prominently in the homework practice in Stage 5.